MILLIONS OF LIVES ARE AT STAKE!!!

In kindergarten, Jack Bauer killed a terrorist for show and tell.

If you get 7 stars on your wanted level on Grand Theft Auto, Jack Bauer comes after you. You don't want to get 7 stars.

Jack Bauer does not sleep. The only rest he needs is what he gets when he's knocked out or temporarily killed.

The only reason you are conscious right now is because Jack Bauer does not feel like carrying you.

When you open a can of whoop-ass, Jack Bauer jumps out.

Jack Bauer doesn't miss. If he didn't hit you it's because he was shooting at another terrorist twelve miles away.

Jack Bauer once forgot where he put his keys. He then spent the next 15 minutes torturing himself until he gave up the location.

1.6 billion Chinese are angry with Jack Bauer. Sounds like an uneven fight. For the Chinese.

Jack Bauer's favorite color is sever terror alert red. His second favorite color is violet, but onl because it sounds like violent.

Jack Bauer could strangle you with a cordless phone.

Jack Bauer was never addicted to heroin, heroin was addicted to Jack Bauer.

Jack Bauer killed 93 people in 4 days time. Which is a real fact.

Superman wears Jack Bauer pajamas.

Jack Bauer got Helen Keller to talk.

Upon hearing that he was played by Kiefer Sutherland, Jack Bauer killed Kiefer Sutherland. Jack Bauer gets played by no man.

It would only take 1 bullet to kill 50 cent.

Guns don't kill people, Jack Bauer kills people.

Only two things Jack Bauer doesn't do, show mercy, and go to the bathroom.

Jack Bauer sleeps with a pillow under his gun.

Jack Bauer never retreats, he just attacks in the opposite direction.

On Jack bauer's Tax returns, he has to claim the entire world as his dependents.

When a convicted terrorist was sentenced to face Jack Bauer, he appealed to have the sentence reduced to death.

If you're holding a gun to Jack Bauer's head, don't count to three before you shoot. Count to 10. That way, you get to live 7 seconds longer.

American Idol is popular only because it has a commercial for 24.

The Berlin Wall fell because Jack Bauer needed to get to the other side.

There are three leading causes of death among terrorists. The first two are Jack Bauer, and the third one is a heart attack from hearing Jack Bauer is coming for them.

Jack Bauer once arm-wrestled Superman. The loser had to wear his underwear on the outside of his pants.

Jack Bauer never steals. Chuck Norris gave him the rights to these sayings a long time ago. Chuck Norris knows when he's beat.

DO YOU UNDERSTAND!!!

It took Jack Bauer two minutes to beat a confession out of OJ.

People with amnesia still remember Jack Bauer.

Jack Bauer killed so many terrorists that at one point, the #5 CIA Most Wanted fugitive was an 18 year old teenager in Malaysia who downloaded the movie Dodgeball.

Jack Bauer can get a Mcdonalds breakfast after 10:30.

When the boogie man goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Jack Bauer.

Every mathematical inequality officialy ends with "

When google can't find something, it asks Jack Bauer for help.

When Jack Bauer was a child, he made his mother finish his vegetables.

When Batman is in trouble, he turns on the Jack Bauer signal.

Superman's only weakness is Kryptonite. Jack Bauer laughs at Superman for having a weakness.

Jack Bauer has been to Mars. That's why there's no life on Mars.

The bumper sticker on Jesus' car reads "WWJBD?".

Jack Bauer can watch all 6 seasons of 24 in 24 hours.

Every time Jack Bauer yells "NOW!" at the end of a sentence, a terrorist dies.

Jack Bauer literally died for his country, and lived to tell about it.

The real reason the Army ditched the Army of One campaign? Jack Bauer sued for copy right infringement.

When life gave Jack Bauer lemons, he used them to kill terrorists.

Jack Bauer's family threw him a surprise birthday party when he was a child. Once.

They had to change a street name from Jack Bauer to something else because people kept dying. Why? Because nobody crosses Jack Bauer.

Jack Bauer had no problem following orders, unless you tell him to do something he doesn't want to.

As a child, Jack Bauer's first words were "THERE'S NO TIME!"

Killing Jack Bauer doesn't make him dead. It just makes him angry.

QUOTES:

"I have killed two people since midnight. I haven't slept in over 24 hours. So maybe you should be a little more afraid of me than you are now."
"I'm gonna need a hacksaw."
"I work for no one."
"Thousands of innocent lives are at stake."
"We don't have time for this."
"The only reason that you're conscious right now is because I don't want to carry you."
"You probably don't think that I can force this towel down your throat. But trust me, I can. All the way."
"I'm federal Agent Jack Bauer. This is the longest day of my life."
"I'll get back to you."
"I need to talk to the president."
"Nina, you don't have anymore information do you? Yes I do...No, no you don't."
"What is your primary objective?"
"My name's not Frank. It's Jack Bauer."
"This is all my fault."
"I'm not CTU."
"Who are you really working for?"
"I'll get him to talk."
"Just give me 5 minutes."
"If you hurt my daughter I WILL kill you."
"Where is the bomb? I said WHERE IS THE BOMB?"
"Was Air Force One just hit? WAS AIR FORCE ONE JUST HIT?"
"What's on the chip? WHAT'S ON THE CHIP?"
"I need you to data mine the files."
"I need an interrogation room prepped NOW!"
"Part of getting a second chance is taking responsibility for the mess you made in the first place."
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"
"You are going to tell me everything I want to know or I swear to God I will hurt you before I kill you, and no one will be able to stop me"
"TELL ME WHERE THE BOMB IS!!!"
"Chloe!"
"Chloe, we don't have time for your personality right now."
"DAMNIT!"
"What else could they take from me."

24 phrases for 24 drinking game

1. Trust me, you don't want to go down that road with me.
2. If you don't tell me what I want to know, then it'll just be a question of how much you want it to hurt.
3. You don't want to try me.
4. Tell me what I need to know!
5. When I'm finished with you, you're gonna wish that you felt this good again.
6. You don't understand!
7. Do you understand?
8. I understand.
9. I need you to trust me.
10. There's no time for backup.
11. I don't have time to explain right now.
12. I don't have time for this.
13. We don't have much time
14. Secure the perimeter.
15. Stand down.
16. Copy that.
17. Show me your hands! I said show me your hands!!
18. It's complicated.
19. Thousands of lives are at stake
20. Send it to my screen..
21. I don't work for CTU.
22. Damnit!
23. That was our only lead
24. Tell me where the bomb is!